Baby shower: when, how and decoration ideas

A baby shower has become a firm part of how many Danish families celebrate a pregnancy. The party gives friends and family a chance to gather around the mum-to-be, long before the baby itself gets to join the celebrations. In this guide, you can read about the tradition behind the party, when it's typically held, who's in charge of it, and how to create decorations that set the right mood.

The short answer

A baby shower is a celebration for the mum-to-be, usually held a month or two before the expected birth. It's typically organised by a friend, a colleague, or a female relative, often as a surprise for the mum-to-be. The party offers good company, light food and cake, themed games and gifts, and opening the gifts is usually part of the programme.

What is a baby shower?

A baby shower is originally an American tradition, where gifts for the mum and the baby-to-be are a central feature. The name shower refers to the very shower of gifts guests are expected to bring along. The modern baby shower, as we know it today, emerged in the USA in the late 1940s and in the 1950s, although the custom of celebrating a pregnancy has roots further back.

In Denmark, the tradition arrived through films and TV series such as Beverly Hills 90210 and Sex and the City, where the characters hold baby showers for one another. It was slow to catch on in Danish homes, partly because there's long been a belief that it brings bad luck to receive gifts before the baby is born. That attitude is fading, though, and the baby shower has become a natural part of many Danish pregnancies.

When do you hold a baby shower?

A baby shower is usually held a month or two before the expected birth. This gives the mum-to-be time to enjoy the party whilst she still has the energy to take part in games and socialising.

It's generally best to avoid holding the party in the last couple of weeks of the pregnancy, as there's always a chance the baby might arrive earlier than expected. Should that happen, it would be a shame to miss out on the party. Some therefore choose to hold the baby shower after the baby is born, so both the new mum and the baby can take part.

Who organises it, and who gets invited?

Traditionally, it's a friend, a female colleague, or a female relative who organises the baby shower, rather than the immediate family. According to etiquette expert Miss Manners, this is because it's considered inappropriate for the family itself to ask for gifts on behalf of a family member. That's why it's often a good friend who takes charge.

Traditionally, only women take part in a baby shower, but nowadays mixed parties are also common, where the dad-to-be and the couple's mutual friends join in. In some places, separate parties are even held for the men. The custom varies from country to country, and there's no fixed rule for who, besides the mum-to-be, should be invited.

Traditionally, baby showers are only held for the first pregnancy. For the second child, it's common to hold a smaller party, where guests, for example, only bring nappies.

How to hold a baby shower

Both in Denmark and the USA, it's the rule rather than the exception that the baby shower is held as a surprise party for the mum-to-be. The organiser takes care of invitations, venue and food, whilst the mum-to-be only finds out once she walks through the door.

The food is usually light: cake, snacks and something to drink, so guests can relax and chat together. Games are a fixed part of the programme, and the classics are baby shower bingo, guess mum's measurements and guess the baby, where guests have to guess, for example, the baby's birth weight or length.

It's common to open the gifts during the party, and the host can easily turn the gift-opening itself into a game. Some families, however, ask guests not to bring gifts and would rather just have everyone's company. If you need inspiration on what people typically give, you can read more in Gift for a newborn: Keepsake gifts and good ideas.

Baby shower decorations: how to create the mood

The decorations help set the tone for the whole party, and you don't need to make it complicated. Choose a colour theme you can stick to across tablecloths, napkins and flowers, so everything hangs together visually without looking overdone.

Feel free to build the centre of the table around a collection of flowers in vases of different heights. It gives a lively and inviting look, and you can find more ideas for how to put together the centre of the table in Table decorations: how to style the centre of the table.

Here are some concrete ideas for the decorations:

• Choose a consistent colour theme for tablecloths, napkins and flowers, so the table looks put together as a whole.
• Gather flowers in vases of different heights and shapes for the centre of the table, for example a Leopard vase in stoneware, small from Quail or a Lemonade can vase in stoneware from Kersten.
• Put the cake on a lovely cake stand, so it becomes a natural eye-catcher on the table.
• Build a nappy cake as the centrepiece of the gift table. It's a newer tradition, made popular by the TV series Sex and the City, and it works both as decoration and as a practical gift.
• Set up a corner or a defined spot for the gifts, so they're gathered in one place where the mum-to-be can open them.
• Use dishes in different shapes, such as Lemon dish in ceramic from &Klevering or Oyster dish in ceramic from &Klevering, for snacks and cake side by side.

You'll find more options for table decorations, cake stands and vases under Table decorations, Cake stands and Vases.

Here's an overview of the concrete decoration ideas the article mentions for the baby shower.

Variations on the baby shower

Besides the classic baby shower, there are several related celebrations. Some hold a baby shower for the father-to-be, where his friends gather to celebrate that he's soon going to be a dad, while others prefer a sip and see, which is held after the birth. Here, friends and family drop by to enjoy a refreshment and meet the newly arrived baby.

There's also an adoption shower, which celebrates a child being adopted into the family, and which is similar in form and content to a baby shower.

A gender reveal is another type of party where the baby's sex is revealed, and it shouldn't be confused with the baby shower, even though the two are sometimes combined into one celebration.

Frequently asked questions

What is a baby shower?

A baby shower is a party that celebrates a pregnancy, usually a month or two before the expected birth. The tradition comes from the USA, where gifts for the mother and baby are a central feature.

When do you hold a baby shower?

The baby shower is typically held a month or two before the birth, but rarely in the last couple of weeks, in case the baby arrives early. Some choose instead to hold the party after the baby is born.

Who hosts a baby shower for the mum-to-be?

Traditionally, it's a friend, a female colleague or a female relative who organises the party, as it's considered inappropriate for the family itself to ask for gifts on behalf of a family member.

What do you do at a baby shower?

At a baby shower, you typically eat light food and cake, and play themed games such as bingo, guess mum's measurements or guess the baby. The gifts are often opened as a group game during the party.

How do you decorate for a baby shower?

Choose a colour theme for the table, build up the table centre with flowers in vases, and place the cake on a cake stand. A nappy cake can be a fun centrepiece at the gift table.

Should you bring a gift to a baby shower?

Gifts are traditionally an important part of a baby shower, but some families prefer not to receive gifts and would rather have the guests' presence. See gift ideas in Gift for a newborn.

Summary

A baby shower is, first and foremost, a cosy occasion to gather friends and family around the mum-to-be before the baby arrives. With the right timing, a good organiser and a bit of thought for the decorations, the party can become a warm experience for everyone, and the table centre with flowers, dishes and cake is an easy place to start.

Read also

• Christening decorations: table decorations and decor that work
• Table decorations: how to style the centre of the table
• Gift for a new mum: The perfect choice
• Babyrum: ro, pynt og plads til at vokse
• Gift for a newborn: Keepsake gifts and good ideas
• Gender reveal: hvad er det, og hvordan holder man festen