A nonfirmation is a party for young people that marks the transition from child to adult, but without a church ceremony. It's also called a civil confirmation or youth party, and the day often resembles a confirmation with a family celebration, speeches and gifts, just without the church service.
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When a young person isn't going to be confirmed in church, it doesn't necessarily mean there's nothing to celebrate. Many families instead hold what's now known as a nonfirmation: a party that takes up the same place in the calendar and in the family as the confirmation, but without a church service or ceremony. This article takes a sober look at what a nonfirmation is, how it differs from confirmation and humanist confirmation, where the tradition comes from, and how to plan the day in practice.
What is a nonfirmation?
Nonfirmation is a newer term for what's also called a civil confirmation or youth party: a non-religious celebration for 14 to 16 year olds. Like the church confirmation, the day marks the transition from child to adult, but there's no church service and no church ceremony involved. Instead, many choose to hold a family party with the same celebrations known from a confirmation: good food, speeches, singing and gifts.
By comparison, confirmation preparation in the Danish National Church is an optional offer for young people in year 7 or 8, which ends with the confirmation itself in church. A nonfirmation skips the entire church process but keeps the celebration.
The difference between confirmation, nonfirmation and humanist confirmation
The three forms are similar in purpose: they all mark the transition from child to adult, but they differ in content and in who's behind them. Confirmation, which comes from the Latin word confirmatio, meaning affirmation, is a church ceremony that affirms the christening. Christening is therefore a prerequisite for being confirmed. Nonfirmation is a private solution without preparation or ceremony, while humanist confirmation is an organised, secular alternative with its own process.
| Form | What it involves | Who's behind it |
|---|---|---|
| Confirmation | Church ceremony that affirms the christening, after a preparation period and with a church service | The Danish National Church, led by the vicar |
| Nonfirmation | Private party without a church service or preparation, celebrating the transition from child to adult with the same celebrations as a confirmation | The family itself |
| Humanist confirmation | Secular process where the preparation deals with moral, ethical and human rights questions, concluded with a ceremony | E.g. Humanistisk Samfund |
Humanist confirmation has been known in Denmark since the year 2000, and Humanistisk Samfund has run the courses since 2010.
The history behind nonfirmation
The term civil confirmation goes all the way back to the mid-1800s, when it appeared in the debate on religious freedom as a secular alternative to church confirmation. In 1850, Member of Parliament Spandet put forward a bill on religious freedom that included the concept, but the bill was not passed.
The first organised civil confirmation was held in 1915 at Folkets Hus in Vesterbro, Copenhagen, where 2 girls and 2 boys were civilly confirmed. The event was arranged by the labour movement's Association Against Church Confirmation, and in 1924 the association changed its name to the Civil Confirmation Association. The tradition spread to the rest of the country after radio began broadcasting the ceremony itself from Copenhagen in 1928. At the gathering, a well-known person, often a politician, would give an uplifting speech, followed by music and entertainment.
From 1974, the association DUI-LEG og VIRKE took over responsibility for civil confirmations. However, participation declined over time, and in 1992 the association decided to stop the centrally organised events. Since then, the tradition has largely become private family celebrations, which today typically go by the name nonfirmation, although an actual ceremony can still be held, for example under the auspices of Humanistisk Samfund or DUI-LEG og VIRKE.
Tip: Nonfirmation, civil confirmation and humanist confirmation are often used interchangeably today, but it's worth knowing the difference if you're considering an actual ceremony rather than just a family celebration.
Who chooses nonfirmation?
Nonfirmation is typically chosen by young people who don't want a church confirmation, or who haven't been christened at all. Since christening is a prerequisite for confirmation, a nonfirmation is often the only option for holding a celebration day for young people who weren't christened as a child. Others opt out of confirmation for different reasons and choose a nonfirmation, a humanist confirmation or a civil confirmation instead.
It's not known exactly how many are nonfirmed each year, but the picture varies from city to countryside. In the biggest cities, fewer than half of young people today choose to be confirmed, which means that nonfirmation and other alternatives play a bigger role in these areas than elsewhere in the country.
When do you hold a nonfirmation?
A nonfirmation is typically held for young people between 14 and 16 years old, so at the same age as church confirmation. Many choose to hold the celebration in spring, at the same time as classmates are being confirmed, since church confirmations typically fall on a Sunday in April, May or June. Saturday confirmations are, however, becoming more popular, which can give a bit more breathing room in the calendar for families who need to plan a nonfirmation alongside it.
A good tip is to choose a date that doesn't clash with classmates' confirmation celebrations. Check the dates with the school and the friend group before settling on one, so the young person doesn't end up with two invitations on the same weekend.
How to hold a nonfirmation
Most nonfirmations follow the same template as a confirmation celebration within the family: invitations are sent out well in advance, a theme or style is chosen, with the young person having a say, and the day is framed by speeches and perhaps a song or two. Some families choose to supplement the celebration with an actual ceremony, for example arranged by Humanistisk Samfund, so the day has a fixed anchor point beyond the lunch or dinner itself.
When it comes to table setting and gifts, the same considerations apply as for a church confirmation. You can find concrete inspiration in the article How to set the confirmation table and in Confirmation gift guide: The best ideas at every price point.
Find ideas for table setting and atmosphere that also suit a nonfirmation perfectly.
See confirmation table settingGood advice for the day
- Let the young person help decide what the day should be about, both theme, guest list and atmosphere.
- Agree in advance who will give a speech, so no one feels caught off guard, and so the day gets the framework the family wants.
- Give the young person the chance to say a few words themselves and thank the guests. It makes the day their own.
Frequently asked questions
What is a nonfirmation?
A nonfirmation is a non-religious celebration for young people between 14 and 16 years old, marking the transition from child to adult without a church service or religious ceremony.
What's the difference between confirmation and nonfirmation?
Confirmation is a church ceremony that confirms christening and requires preparation and a church service, while nonfirmation is a private family celebration with no religious content.
When do you hold a nonfirmation?
Most people hold a nonfirmation when the young person is between 14 and 16 years old, often in spring at the same time as their classmates' confirmations in April, May or June.
How do you hold a nonfirmation?
You typically hold a family party with invitations, a theme the young person has chosen, speeches and possibly songs, sometimes supplemented with a ceremony at, for example, Humanistisk Samfund.
Do you give gifts for a nonfirmation?
Yes, a nonfirmation often has the same celebrations and gifts as a confirmation.
What is a humanist confirmation?
Humanist confirmation is a secular alternative, where the preparation deals with moral, ethical and human rights issues, and which has been known in Denmark since the year 2000.
Summary
Nonfirmation is the modern term for the civil confirmation, a party for young people between 14 and 16 years old, celebrating the transition to adulthood without a church ceremony. The tradition has roots back to the mid-1800s and was first organised in 1915, while today it is most often held as a private family party. Whether you choose nonfirmation, humanist confirmation or the church confirmation, the core is the same: a day that marks the young person taking a step further in life.
Read also
- How to set the confirmation table
- Confirmation gift guide: The best ideas at every price point
- Gift for the confirmand: Stylish ideas for the big day
- Gift for teenagers: Cool ideas they'll actually want
- Blue Monday: what is it, and where does the name come from?
- Confirmation speech: how to write and give a good speech
Ready to plan the party?
Whether it's a nonfirmation or a classic confirmation, you can find inspiration for the table and gifts in our collections.
See confirmation gifts